HOW I FEEL...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I feel like I'm in the washer machine on the agitation cycle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~









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Joy

Remember when I told you that MS can & will walk over you?   Well, here I go again; feeling like I’ve been walk on, up one side & down the other.   In other words, I have been sick for about a week in a half.   I’m just starting to feel normal, whatever that is.   Today is the first day that I could get out of bed by myself.   Basically, according to my husband, it was like I was a paraplegic.   However, I decided that I’m not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself.   I’m not going to have a “whoa it’s me” moment.   I might be slower, I might have to do it a little different but I’m not going to succumb to MS.   I’m not going to be sad, depressed or none of that because I’m a child of THE MOST HIGH GOD! I’m not telling you that everything is peaches & cream.  I’m still dragging my left leg along.  What I’m telling you is, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” Job 13:15.   I have to.  ...
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Keep it Movin

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"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.   Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you."  Philippians 3:12-15
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It's Already Done!

This is a ministering moment.   A moment of encouragement.   I do a lot of that.   Whatever works for you; I suggest that you use it because MS can & will walk all over you.   I was sitting here mediating on the Word of God.   Not questioning Him, but wondering why me; MS & Tysabri invading my space.   I’m not questioning God because I know none of this could happen without going through God’s hands first.   If He allowed this to happen then He must have a plan cause I don’t have a clue. Outside of that, I could hear God say, you have to go through the fire but you won’t get burnt.   He said I won’t pull you out of the fire but I will get into it with you. Read your bible @ Daniel 3 about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego.   God said, Ruth, I’ll be with you always. Matthew 28:20 “ teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen. I read a devotion...
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To bring you up where I am, I was diagnosed with MS in 2015.   I must say that there is a link between MS & depression.   Needless to say I was feeling some kind of way, but I’m so glad that I know Jesus.   I had to remind myself that God promises to keep me in perfect peace if I keep my mind stayed on Him.   “ You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.”   Isaiah 26:3.   With that being said, God brought to my mind several scriptures:   Psalm 125:1 “   Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever.”   Isaiah 40:31   “   but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;    they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.   He also said, “ But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord , whose confidence is in him.”   Jeremiah 17:7.  ...
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OK

Sometimes I just have to encourage myself.  MS is rough, frequently I've had some bad days, but I am going to be alright.  I might bend, but I wont break and I am ok, because I got faith. I know that there is a blessing after every trial. I know that God made me strong for a reason so when MS gets heavy I encourage myself. I am alright, I am ok, I am going to make it. Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise." ~  Jeremiah 17:14
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Orange in March

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I was on  Multiplesclerosis.net and there is a article about loneliness, MS, disability.  It is very powerful & it has some truth to it for me.  I think at some point with a disease that you can't actually see, we all probably feel some sort of isolation.  Without getting into details, it is a good story & worth reading. Guess what time it is?
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Where Did It Come From?

As I said before, there is no rhyme or reasoning to my blogging.   None of this is in chronical order.   I write as it is on my mind. When the doctor first diagnosed MS, while waiting for test results; he said something to the effect of if I don’t have it; he might as well retire. I thought 4 things:   (1) well, you idiot, you better go ahead home cause I DO NOT HAVE MS! (2) How will I manage it all? (3) How will it affect my husband? (4) God, what are You saying?   I was afraid.   Afraid of the unknown. Isaiah 43:1 “B ut now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” Traveling through this journey, the only comfort that I have is knowing that God; created me, redeemed me, knows my name, is with me.   Otherwise I would have thrown up my hands & given up by now.   Oh, after three years, I still don’t know what God is tr...
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Not My Battle

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I've been blogging for a while now and I feel like I've have been babbling on.  I read something that sums up what I've been trying to say which is: The only thing that I don't agree with is THIS IS NOT MY FIGHT.  The battle belongs to Jesus. “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. "   2nd Chronicles 20:15 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14
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COMFORT

 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty     instead of ashes, the oil of joy     instead of mourning, and a garment of praise     instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness,     a planting of the Lord     for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3
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Change

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I am so glad that God doesn’t change. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”- Hebrews 13:8. As people we might change our mind, have second thoughts and some may even lie but GOD will remain the same. “ God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Numbers 23:19. In my words, there is none like Him. Jesus gives me strength & power daily. “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline” 2 nd Timothy1:7.  There is nobody like You Lord. Thank You for   being my healer, provider, sustainer.                                                  ...
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