HOW I FEEL...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I feel like I'm in the washer machine on the agitation cycle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~









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A Teaching Moment

The biggest mistake that people make or don’t realize is there is a mental aspect to MS.   After three years, I believe, that is where some of us fail.   With or without the disease, it can be complicated to grasp it all.   As people, we get set in our ways & want to do things a certain way.   Well, you better learn another way because MS sets out to ruin what you’re use to. In knowing about the mental aspect of MS, I have to constantly remind myself that God said, “ You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You” Isaiah 26:3. In my words, I fill my mind with God’s Word so that I have no room for whatever MS tries to throw at me. You have to define what mental means to you. MS affect us all differently.   For those of you that don’t know; mental can be stressed, depressed, overwhelmed, brain fog, etc. Whatever it is there is no pill for this. You have to find what works for you. I think some people crash ...
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I Wanna Go

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I long for 1 day to feel normal. I want to go walking  without support.  I want to go shopping. I want to go to the beach. I want to go to the park. I want to go on a trip. I want my house clean. I'm not complaining because I'm grateful for the grace that God has shown me "Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world." Philippians 2:14-15 I'm not sure what normalcy is but it has to be better than life with a MS diagnosis. My activity is becoming very limited. I stay medicated to alleviate the pain which allows me to move around more.
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Itchy & Scratchy

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MS Itch has me feeling like I'm in "The Itchy & Scratchy Show".          MS is Itchy & I'm Scratchy! I was reading this article about the MS itch. I don't know what site I was on. My point is, I would not call it an itch.  My experience is, it feels more like a burning sensation.  So uncomfortable that it feels as if someone is holding a match to my skin.  Yes, I scratch because it's bothersome and I want the feeling to go away.  I only get this feeling in my legs and feet. One day I felt so uncomfortable that I told myself I was going to cut my legs off & call myself shorty. 😊 I have to make lite of it all because I do not want to be moved by my circumstances.  I do have some relief; I use medicated cream.  The cream helps for about 6-8 hours or so. “The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.   Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.” Psalm 34:7...
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Reality

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I'm very fond of birds.  I have always seen birds as a sign of life. I have 3 parrots; 2 Love Birds and 1 African Grey.  The love birds are just that.  The female laid 6 eggs.  Every time I go into the room,  I try to peek in the cage and see how many eggs hatched. However I'm unable to see because the mother bird is protective; she sits on top of her babies to ensure their safety. The moment I saw the bird's reaction God brought to my attention Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
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Refreshing

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I had a great time at lunch yesterday with a group of friends. I feel really blessed to be a part of a MS support group. There is a lot of wisdom in the room; along with good people.   It is an honor and privilege to talk to people that are traveling the same road that I'm on.   “Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.” Ezra 10:4  I was reading Healthline and 12 foods were listed for being high in vitamin B12. After looking at the list, my first thought was OMG.   I know I might have a deficiency because out of the items listed, I probably eat two things.   The foods are as follows: Organ meats, clams, sardines, beef, fortified cereal, tuna, fortified nutritional yeast, trout, salmon, fortified nondairy milk, eggs, milk & dairy products.                               BE BLESSED!
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Know Who You Are

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Do you know who you are? I am a child of God (John 1:12)  “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” I am a friend of God (John 15:15) "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” I am complete in Jesus ( Colossians 2:10)  “You are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.” Yes I can (Philippians 4:13) “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
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Sunday Strength

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“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”   Isaiah 40:31 “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.   I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:14-19
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Out Loud!

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Jesus Loves You!  God is real and He lives... “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   John 3:16
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Sunshine

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A Note To My Husband:  I never knew love until I met God & then He introduced me to an extraordinary man.   A man that loves God more then he loves me and love me more then he loves himself.  In the beginning, I was unsure of what I was looking at.   It was like walking around with blinders on trying to find a peek of sunshine. Through my relationship with God and the studying of His Word, I learned, that man, my husband, caretaker was showing nothing but patience and adoration over 32 years.   T o be a caretaker of any one with a chronic disease must be a huge task. To be the husband of a woman that is diagnosed with MS, the task got to be even larger.   Sometime I don’t show it, but every day, I’m thankful. Those are some big shoes to fill because I don’t know if I could do the things you do as a caretaker.  You have altered your entire life to care for me daily. The love that you show shines bright enough to allow ...
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The Truth Is!

I don’t always feel like smiling, or doing the things I know to be right.   I don’t always feel peace & joy. There are moments I feel like crying, I feel like I’m about to break or my earth is about to shake. The harder I try the worse it gets, and failure is on my back. I had rough mornings in which turns into rough days which ends as a rough week. But in those times, I press on. What and how I’m feeling is a part of living life with MS, but I won’t allow it to STOP MY LIFE. I refuse to park here. I’m going to release these feelings back to the pit of hell. I won’t always feel and sometimes I don’t look like I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, BUT I AM…… “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. Psalm 139:14
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