HOW I FEEL...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I feel like I'm in the washer machine on the agitation cycle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~









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Think About It

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I was reading a blog on  MS.net titled MS and Jealously.   The blogger talked about sometime being jealous of family, friends, and strangers because they are doing the things that he once did.   However, we all know that once diagnosed things change.   Life as you once knew it is of the past.   He also warned that the anger can turn into depression. MS makes me feel like I am fighting for my life. I also came to the conclusion that, I’m not created to be like everyone else.   With or without MS, I’m different and will stand out in a crowd.   I can’t say much about what I read in the blog because MS has not touched my life in the way that he wrote about. With that being said, I will be extremely careful and extremely aware about what I allow in my mind to think about and what I choose to dwell on. God says in Proverbs 3:27, "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he." God tells us what we should dwell on in Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers ...
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How Do You Feel?

I belong to this MS site, I can’t remember the name of it.   However, my point is, it always ask the question of “How Do You Feel”? In keeping track of my feelings, today is not a good day.   I find that drama only work if I do.   So guess what, I quit!   My spirit said, stop feeding it. It is living off of you, Ruth. I feel like a light bulb in a dark room, a flower waiting to bloom.   Today I’m feeling like I don’t belong anywhere.   I feel like a door with no knob, a bird with no wings.   I feel bent but not broken. Now, that I got that out of my spirit, I’ll tell you that, MS is a lonely road to travel.   Learning how to be humble hurts. It hurts to the core.   Oh, did I say, today my energy level is so low.   I feel like all I can do is breath & maybe wink my eyes every now & then. The fatigue is so heavy that I don’t think I can wink both eyes, maybe just one of them. God clearly states, “I have given you au...
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Reality

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I'm very fond of birds.  I have always seen birds as a sign of life. I have 3 parrots; 2 Love Birds and 1 African Grey.  The love birds are just that.  The female laid 6 eggs.  Every time I go into the room,  I try to peek in the cage and see how many eggs hatched. However I'm unable to see because the mother bird is protective; she sits on top of her babies to ensure their safety. The moment I saw the bird's reaction God brought to my attention Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
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Stupid!

Out of curiosity, what is a MS flare-up like in your world?   Have you ever had one? My first one was, well, there I go using that word again.   It was scary.   I awoke & could not talk, walk. I still had my mind.   However; no signals were getting to the brain.   I could see & hear what was going on around me, but I couldn’t respond. I don’t know why, but my husband took me to the bathroom & sat me on the toilet.   I fell; I couldn’t even sit up by myself.   It was by God’s Grace that I wasn’t hurt. “ You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus” 2nd Timothy 2:1 I couldn’t walk, talk or think but God allowed the first thing on my mind to be, oh Lord.   I thought, oh Lord, do I have to spend the rest of my life like this?   I remember thinking, my God is bigger than this.   MS that is. I also remember thinking about John 10:10 “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to dest...
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Let me lean!

I was watching the news in reference to the Government shutdown. This lady was on there crying because with no pay, her and her son will be homeless. Point being, it is a lesson in it for us all. In one way or the other we will be if not already effected. Lesson being, God is my Provider; it's all just stuff. God wants all of us to lean & depend upon Him. "For kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." 1st Timothy 2:2-4
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Orange in March

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I was on  Multiplesclerosis.net and there is a article about loneliness, MS, disability.  It is very powerful & it has some truth to it for me.  I think at some point with a disease that you can't actually see, we all probably feel some sort of isolation.  Without getting into details, it is a good story & worth reading. Guess what time it is?
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Don't Go There

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I read this interesting article on  Everyday Health that made a good point about germs & assistive devices.   I don’t leave home without my cane and probably have dropped it a thousand times.   I found the article interesting because I never gave it much thought.   It’s ironic that I didn’t because with MS & the immune system being suppressed, I like everything clean.   I laugh at myself because I say that I must have the cleanest hands in town with perpetually washing my hands. I don’t touch public door knobs. That’s to name a couple of things; with most things one might say I’m over the top. Here is the kicker, I worked in a clinic. Work was a constant battle with cleanliness.  God says, “I will save those who love me and will protect those who acknowledge me as Lord. When they call to me, I will answer them; when they are in trouble, I will be with them. I will rescue them and honor them. I will reward them with long life; I will save them...
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Testimony Tuesday

I’m losing weight. Not sure how many pounds but I feel myself thinning out.   I don’t know if it’s Tysabri, MS or the preventive medication that combats one of the side effects of Tysabri.   My appetite has really decreased.   I remember my mom saying that it’s ok to gain a few pounds so that if you get sick and lose a couple of pounds; everything will blend in.   Well, here I go. Speaking of losing weight; I read a fantastic article in  Healthline.com on easing MS symptoms with exercise.   Seven were mentioned; I might try at least five. T here is nothing like feeling & looking good. I’m going to enjoy the spring/summer.   Winter was brutal!   Should I say IS brutal cause winter isn’t gone yet. I give thanks to God because He is God all by Himself; He don’t need no help.   I thank Him for His Grace & Mercy.   I thank God for providing for and protecting me daily. GOD IS GOOD! “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my ...
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Words

I believe in the power of words. I was asked, if I say that I don’t have MS then why do I take the medicine?   Several answers to that question. I   don’t say it because:   (1)   I don’t want to be moved by my circumstances (2) I can’t ask God to bless me & then tell Him how (3) As I said, I believe in the power of words (4) I BELIEVE WHAT God says about me. Jesus said, Ruth, “Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.”   Luke 17:19 then He said, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”   Psalm 139:14 Regarding the power of my words, God said ,” Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”   Proverbs 18:21.   In my own words, I BELIEVE WHAT I SAY & SAY WHAT I BELIEVE!   I don’t go by what I see. It’s already done. “And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are y...
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