HOW I FEEL...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I feel like I'm in the washer machine on the agitation cycle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~









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Cannabis

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I read two different articles that says cannabis is effective in treating MS symptoms. I didn' t capture the names of either site.   Both state the following health benefits: 1.      It protects the brain                                                                            2.      Pain 3.      Spasticity                                                                           4 .      Digestion 5.      Helps you sleep 6.      Depression 7.      Protects eyes I...
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Sunshine

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A Note To My Husband:  I never knew love until I met God & then He introduced me to an extraordinary man.   A man that loves God more then he loves me and love me more then he loves himself.  In the beginning, I was unsure of what I was looking at.   It was like walking around with blinders on trying to find a peek of sunshine. Through my relationship with God and the studying of His Word, I learned, that man, my husband, caretaker was showing nothing but patience and adoration over 32 years.   T o be a caretaker of any one with a chronic disease must be a huge task. To be the husband of a woman that is diagnosed with MS, the task got to be even larger.   Sometime I don’t show it, but every day, I’m thankful. Those are some big shoes to fill because I don’t know if I could do the things you do as a caretaker.  You have altered your entire life to care for me daily. The love that you show shines bright enough to allow ...
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The Truth Is!

I don’t always feel like smiling, or doing the things I know to be right.   I don’t always feel peace & joy. There are moments I feel like crying, I feel like I’m about to break or my earth is about to shake. The harder I try the worse it gets, and failure is on my back. I had rough mornings in which turns into rough days which ends as a rough week. But in those times, I press on. What and how I’m feeling is a part of living life with MS, but I won’t allow it to STOP MY LIFE. I refuse to park here. I’m going to release these feelings back to the pit of hell. I won’t always feel and sometimes I don’t look like I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, BUT I AM…… “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. Psalm 139:14
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Help

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I read Isaiah 41:13 today and I was blessed by what God said to me & I would like to share it with you. “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” With the heat, humidity outside today and the MS cold; these words take authority over the way I feel because I know that I have help and I do not have to fight this battle.   All I have to do is stand still because He says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 BE BLESSED!
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Why

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I just don't understand?  If  no two patients are alike; how does the doctor say if its MS related or not? When the doctor make that kind of statement without checking it out first; I view that as being cocky.  Full of him or herself. I have been experiencing what I believe to be a side effect from one of the medications; however the neurologist said it was psychological. Well, what that meant to me is Ruth, you got some mental issues.  I'm very vocal so I said, Yes, sometimes I get sad, depressed, anxiety. I get down sometimes, I just don't stay there.  For me to take a pill or go sit and talk to someone looking at me the  way he was, IS NOT GOING TO HELP ME.  Show me a person diagnosed with MS that doesn't experience at least one of the feelings that I mentioned.  It's all about how  a person chooses to deal with it. My faith in Jesus keeps me going.  I always hear my father say, Ruth, there is no depression in Christ or he say,...
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Can Not Lose

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I was sitting with my husband trying to get his attention & I just happen to look up at his computer screen, it read a little something like; what do you think?   With God on our side, we can’t lose.   Immediately; Jesus brought two scriptures to my attention which were: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, [ neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,   neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8-38:39.  “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord , And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord .   Isaiah 54:17.  The part that stuck out was “No weapon”.  In my words, the weapon might form, but it won’t work. In this case the weapon is M...
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What Is This?

I never seen anything like this before in my life. MS is the lonest, the most expensive, the most complicated and I can go on forever. I never experienced anything like this before.  Right now, I feel like I'm the only person in the world. I feel like nobody cares and if they do, well, they don't understand.  With MS, to not  understand or to not care is the same thing. Because with both, one can not relate to the MS patient.  Speaking personally, that is what anyone with a chronic disease need, someone to understand and have the ability to relate to the disease and all the obstacles that come with it. I think I'm overwhelmed.  Sometimes I think too much. However I saw a quote that said "Sun is alone too, but still shines." That made me smile and remember that God said, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 Even though some don't understand or whatever t...
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The Gift of a Relationship

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The Gift of a Relationship Ruth and I have chosen to put our trust in Jesus not man. When people are faced with a life time of hardships, many will turn to religion, but religion is not the answer, a relationship with Jesus is. I believe that we must develop a relationship with our creator. Religion only gives us guidelines to live by, because religion in no more than rules and regulations to live by. A relationship on the other hand will occupy every part of your being. Relationships are intimate, up close and personal. An intimate relationship with Jesus is no differences from what we have with other closest friends and family members. The only difference is the way we get to know Jesus; through his word ( the Bible ). He already knows us: “ I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb, before you were born I set you apart ” Jeremiah 1:5 . In life people can and often do let us down, things change. Someone might say their willing but when it comes time...
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Here I Go Again!

As usual, I was reading.  I guess I like to read.  I  didn't know it, but I like writing also.  It  is very soothing.  I told my husband, if I could sing; I would sing everywhere. I would sing myself happy.  However; God didn't give me that gift so it's easy for me to write down my feelings.  I'm in my happy place.😁 Writing is so soothing because it keeps my mind engaged.  Otherwise, my mind bounces all over the place doing its own thing.  Oh, as I started out saying, In reading multiplesclerosisnewstoday.com regarding navigating MS ups & downs. I came across a Column by Jennifer Powell.  She talked about some experiences with MS.  I must say, her Column helped me because it is good to know that I'm not alone with  feelings of MS t repidation.  I want to know as much as I can about MS and the experiences of others but I had to stop reading and think about good times and the many blessings that I have. “Final...
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